My Relationship With Racism
Children’s Book SKIN written by Susan Methven
It’s only fitting that I write about racism just as my debut children’s book SKIN is heading out for the world to see.
I was enjoying my favorite pastime the other day (okay it’s TikTok, stop with the judgy eyes). A man was basically saying, that to say to someone they have white privilege, is judging them by their skin color. He appeared to be smug, using hot topics to upset people and boost his views on the app. Curious about the comments, they did not disappoint. People were outraged! One person’s comment was just what I needed. It goes something like this, white privilege doesn’t mean you don’t have problems and hardships, it means your life is not made harder because of the color of your skin. That was a lightbulb moment for me. Just in case I’m not the only one who didn’t know THAT was the definition, I hope your lightbulb just went off too. Racism truly sucks!!
The evolution of my beliefs on racism
This made me think back over the years and into my childhood. I grew up in a place and time where my community was all white. Racism was the humor on television, passed around as dad jokes, and there was the never-ending scoffing from adults. Early on, I knew I didn’t like the humor or racial slurs.
In my early adulthood, I took an anti-biased class geared for people wanting to open a daycare or work in early education. I remember thinking ‘that teacher thinks racism still exists!’ So, as a test, I asked many of my coworkers how they would respond to learning their daughter was getting married to a black man. I WAS SHOCKED!!! I asked a particular man why he would disown his daughter, his reason… his dad had worked with THEM and always had horror stories to share. I went out that day and bought black dolls, multiple skin-colored crayons and talked to my kids about racism.
Recently, as I was picking up my granddaughter for school, I witnessed her mom trying to do the right thing and teach her not to call out skin color. That’s when it occurred to me, we all have a relationship with racism. Some are in the eye of the storm, experiencing unthinkable things. Let’s not forget, people lose their lives over the color of their skin! Those of us on the privileged side have a very different relationship. We not only haven’t lost, we have benefited. We can’t measure the devastating effects from where we sit. If we can’t measure it, then how can we judge people affected?
So that brings me to my book. I wanted to tell more than just my kids and grandkids that racism is real and hurts in ways we, as privileged white people, can’t measure. If one child hears the message Emily models in my book SKIN, it is worth it a thousand percent.
I invite you to explore your relationship with racism. Were there moments in your childhood that directs your opinion today? Are there times in the present day when you catch yourself holding on to beliefs simply because you were raised with them? What would it feel like if you challenged your beliefs and put yourself on the other side of the coin? Whatever it is you do feel, I beg you to open your heart and feel what our fellow humans have lived, and show compassion.
